The End of the World and Stuff
by Eddi Delaney
Summary: Hilarious and written to keep you busy while I update TRB5, but it doesn't matter if you read TRB5 or not. I hope you don't like Sasuke too much. Or Kiba.


Hey peoples! Sorry, but the latest chapter of TRB5 and jgc123's stories have been... destroyed. Due to a grandparents threat of hacking into her file and reading all documents and internet history. Eh, make a long story short, those stuffs are gone. BUT! I will be writing a weird tale of randomosity to keep you little cheeses busy while I go abut rewriting chapters and naming the people of Blourdehortsenmork or something. You know, at the begining of jgc123's story, The Antisocial Convention? Blorde whatever is the next dimension. Shino shall love it. 3 3 Anyway, go on and read. I have no clue when this is, because Gaara knows Shino, but nobody acknowleges the dimension thingy 'cept occasionally someone does and... I dunno. Remember: This is NOT the end of TRB5! IT IS NOT! It may seem like it, but when I get back to the story, none of this will have ever happened.

WARNING: Do not eat your own head. Doing so can cause horrible diseases from cannibalism the you cannot get due to dying from eating your own head. Eating someone elses head is fine as long as it is cooked over a spit in an elevator with GIR the priest present. Excuse the Elevator of Doom 2 reference in the last sentence.

Disclaimy: I don't own Naruto. If I did, Sasuke's flesh would be eaten and Gaara would still be demon-rific. Not only that, but Lee would get a plastic surgeon. Nobody that nice should be so ugly! I apoligize for spoiling anything for you dubbies, but I don't really care 'cuz I hate you. YAY!

THE REAL WARNING! If you like Sasuke or Kiba a lot do not read this! I bash and/or kill them a lot! There is death, blood, and weird cannabilistic chants in this, so if you think you are too young, whimpy, or whiny for this story, please hit back once you get to the 'Gaara had a demonic wave of demony-ness' part. If you are REALLY wimpy, stop at the Shino talking about flesh eating part. If you think you are to smart for this story, then why are you still here? But, I guess you could read up to 'It all began on a rainy day,'. After that, intelligence dwindles with every passing word.

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It all began on a rainy day. Obviously it was raining outside. Shino stepped out his door in his usual '...' manner when he saw Kiba standing right there. Outside his door.

Shino was thinking, "WTF?", but of course did not say this, for if he did, he would not be Shino.

"HI SHINO!"

"..."

"WHAT'S UP?"

"..."

"WANNA GO DO STUFF?"

"..."

"RUGBY!"

"...?"

"K-kiba kun, I think he d-doesn't w-want to come do s-stuff wif us..." Hinata stammered. Shino wondered why he didn't notice her. He also wondered why everyone was standing in the rain. Was he turning into Chouji? (Sorry, another reference if you read the reference in my intro. I hope you read that! I worked so hard... Anyway. This reference is from The Antisocial Convention.)

"Nonsense! I bet he is just too happy to speak because some guy who claims to know him showed up looking for him!"

Shino decided he should figure out what was going on, so he picked Kiba up by the throat and quietly demanded he spill everything he knew.

Kiba coughed a couple of time before Shino dropped him uncerimoniously to the ground.

"This scary guy came up to Hinata looking for you, but we didn't tell him because he might be some crazy murderer so we came straight here to tell you." Kiba recited like a three year old.

SUDDENLY GAARA RAN UP TO THEM! And it stopped raining due to his... desert-y ness?

"...!" _Kankuro took my pie!_

"...pie?" Shino asked.

"EVERY LAST PIECE!" bawled Gaara.

"..." _Let us then create... THE ANTI KANKURO... BRIGADE! YEAH!_

"Everything is cooler when it's a brigade." noted Gaara.

"What? Huh? You can understand him?" Kiba said stupidly because he is stupid. Like a stupid... stupid thingy. Or a moose. STUPID LIKE A MOOSE! (Eh, another reference. Invader Zim of course. Only Jhonen could create such wonderful nonsense.)

"Of course."

"..." growled Shino. _He's the one who took Annie-chan._

"_Him? _But... he's so stupid and useless!" Gaara cried after sizing Kiba up.

"..." Shino said in the same creepy monotone voice in chapter 3 or 4. _We shall destroy his flesh and feast upon his insides._

"Um. I'm starting to think you are more insane then I originally thought, man. I'm psychotic, but still. That's creepy."

"WHAT DID HE SAY! WHAT DID HE SAY!" cried Kiba, gaining the attention of Shikamaru across the street.

Shikamaru was wondering what everyone was doing on Shino's doorstep which is somehow magically not at that place where all the Aburames live.

Lazily he walks over and lazily says (in a lazy way), "What are- OMG IT'S YOU AGAIN!" Note that his lazy screaming was LAZY.

So, like, Gaara is all, o.o

Shino is all, ...

Kiba is all duh

Hinata is all in her happy place.

"He took mah pie." Gaara informed, "And I have been enlisted by Shino as a member of The Anti Kankuro Brigade."

"... brigade?" Shikamaru said.

"Yes. Everything is cooler when it's a brigade."

Kiba burst out laughing. "HAW HAW! YOU JUST SAID THAT SAME THING A FEW MINUTES AGO! HAW HAW-"

"Shino told me that we shall destroy your flesh and feast upon your insides."

Kiba abruptly stopped laughing. "Eh? Why! HOW RUDE!"

"Well, you did steal his friend."

"..." Shino said. _Best friend._

"... what about me?" whimpered Gaara.

"..." Shino sighed. _Okay, she's my SECOND best friend. Pancakes are first. _

"Pancake?"

"..." Shino explained. _You are counted as a pancake._

"... o-kay then."

"You mean that icky little bug? He's in a jar in my room." Kiba said slowly.

"She."

"Huh?"

"She's a girl. Annie-chan." Shino said angrily.

Suddenly he broke down and ran to his room crying.

Hinata came back from her happy place from the sound of OOC crying.

"What... Kiba? Did you make Shino-kun cry?"

"Why don't I get a 'kun'?"

"Because you made him cry!"

Gaara suddenly had a demonic wave of demony-ness.

"YOU -beeep-!" screamed Gaara. Oh yeah. And he attacked Kiba with sand.

Soon Kiba's fleeeesh was gone. His intestines, gritty with sand, were hung on a crudely made spit and... well, you get the point.

Shikamaru and Hinata chanted an evil chant.

_I like cheese dogs! I like cheese dogs! Hoy ah! Hoy ah! Eat his middle! Eat his middle! Hoy ah! Hoy ah! Tasty gut juice! Tasty gut juice! Hoy ah! Hoy ah! Soy sauce! Soy sauce! SOY SAUCE!_

Gaara sprinkled soy sauce around the spit and set up an altar of sand. Atop it rested Kiba's well cooked remains with a garnish of parsley. How they cooked that fast is beyond me. Do you expect me to know the cooking time of Kiba's insides? Well, actually, that is a reasonable conclusion. But I don't.

Shino came out walking slowly. On his head was the customary wheel of swiss cheese with a mexican flag in it hat. He took Kiba's heart in his hand and crushed it savagely. His cry rang out through Konoha, "Let the feast begin!" and they all ate his insides with soy sauce.

Yeah, that was creepy and OOC. Let's move on.

Lee walked past with Tenten and Neji.

"What are they doing?" Lee asked.

"Who?" queried Tenten.

"Shino, Shikamaru, Hinata, some red haired guy, and Kiba's flesh in a pile of bloodied sand." Lee said.

"It's ritual of the missing friend. Kiba must have stolen one of Shino's bugs because Kiba is dead and Shino has the customary cheese hat. Shikamaru and Hinata were apparently brainwashed into doing it by the red haired guy." Neji said.

Tenten and Lee wondered how he knew that, but didn't ask. Actually, no. Lee did. He's dumb.

"How do you know that Neji?" Lee asked.

"I borrowed a book of evil rituals from Shino. Let's go see if he needs that flesh." he replied.

Neji went up and inquired about the flesh, but as it turns out the flesh was required for a follow up ceremony. However, Neji was welcome to participate in the destruction of the evidence- I mean flesh- ceremony.

Wow, I said flesh a lot!

That ceremony went like this:

_Everyone was dressed up in weird costumes that looked suspiciously like... a bunch of lamp shades tacked together. Anyway, Shino had the cheese hat and Gaara, Neji, Shikamaru, and Hinata sang, "Burn Kiba burn! Burn Kiba burn!" The fire was started and the burning commenced. Everyone danced about maniacally. Tenten, Lee, Team Kakashi, and all the teachers watched on from a tree._

"... I don't know about you guys, but that's kind of scary." said Ino.

"What's wrong with Shikamaru? Why is he doing that?" Chouji wondered.

--flashback--

_"Hey, Shikamaru! If you help in this ceremony without me having to brainwash you I'll let you date my sister." said Gaara._

_"Do I get a taco, too?" Answered Shikamaru._

_"Sure, sure, straight from the Krazy Taco." _

_"YOU'LL NEVER! FIND! A CRAZIER! TACO!" screamed the Taco man in the background. (there I go with the Zim references! Thank Jhonen I haven't gotten carpal tunnels! Or however that thing is shpelled.)_

--end flashback--

"Shouldn't we stop them?" Wondered Gai, Kurenai, and Asuma out loud.

Everone murmered in agreement EXCEPT KAKASHI.

"Why not? It's evil!" Kurenai said.

"Tch. I did all sorts of evil rites and rituals whenI was a kid! Like the annual bleeding of the Uchiha. Every year we would get a different Uchiha and watch them bleed to death."

"W-what!" stuttered Sasuke.

"We?" Kurenai asked.

"Yeah. Me and Rin. Obito was next, but he got out of it by dying too soon. I was looking forward to that one..."

"Who the heck are they?" Asuma asked.

"My old teammates." Kakashi said sadly. He needed Rin to help with his ebilness and he so wanted to kill Obito himself. Contrary to popular belief, Kakashi mourns for the fact that he didn't kill Obito sooner, not is because he is sad that he died.

"Kakashi-sensei... you aren't going to kill Sasuke-kun, are you?" Sakura asked.

"Of course not! He needs to have kids first. He probably won't want to though. His first born will be sacrificed or eaten. This year for the bleeding is Itachi's turn, so Sasuke better revive the clan quick, because I am running out of Uchihas."

Everyone backed away from Kakashi, especially Sasuke.

"There was also the annual AIM Party when we stayed home and IMed each other all day, even though I was at her house and we were in the same room. Plus the 'Day Before Arbor Day Forest Arson'. Nobody ever figured it was us! My favorite though was 'Taunt Random People then Sue them for Attacking us Day'." giggled Kakashi insanely.

He earned a few odd looks.

Suddenly, RIN APPEARED!

"Kakashi-kun, I'm alive. I also found a camp of refugee Uchihas and fixed my computer! LET'S GO!"

"YEAH!"

And they skipped off on their merry murderous way. YAY!

Sasuke just stared like, O.O. Refugee Uchihas? DYING?

In fact, everyone else was all like, O.O, or at least until some weird guy with a cat (TRB5 SPOILER! TRB5 SPOILER!) on his shoulder came strolling by, chewing on a slice of pie. (MORE RHYMES! AAAAHH!)

"What are you crazy leaf ninja's doing in that tree, meow?" He asked.

"Hiding from them." said a horrified Naruto in a horrified voice, pointing at the horribly HORRIBLE sight.

Kankuro (the cat guy) glanced over there.

"Is that... Holy crud... NOT AGAIN. Meow."

"Eh?" ehed everybody.

"That mute guy again, meow! It's like... a curse! He evil! MEOW!"

"Meow." meowed the cat on his shoulder.

"... you know Shino? Is he your friend?" asked Lee.

"Actually, meow, I'm more of his target of abuse and hatred."

"Do 'ya know the red haired guy?" asked Ino.

"Know him? Meow, he ish mah brother. Gaara."

Suddenly Temari ran up.

"Did you take the pie I left out to cool?" she cried.

"Um, am I gonna get in trouble? Sorry. Yeah, meow."

"THAT WAS GAARA'S PIE!" she screamed in terror.

Kankuro trembled and dropped the pie.

Kankuro screamed, "Tis teh matzo ball pie of Gaara-y goodness!"

Gaara looked up from his plate of Kiba to see the final slice of HIS pie splatted on the ground.

He and Shino glared in evil at him. Everyone else was just comfuzzmicated.

"...!" _Anti-Kankuro Brigade!_

"Brigade! Hyeh hah hehe hah!" Giggled Gaara insanely, but not as insanely as Kakashi. "Um... anyway. He dares defile the matzo ball pie! Sieze him!" yelled Gaara.

Nobody so much as blinked.

"Oh. Yeah." Gaara muttered and grabeded Kanky and Kitty in sand.

"NOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUEEEEEEBBLLLAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHGGGLLLUUUUUURRRNAAAAAAH!" screamed Kankuro.

Kankuro is dead, but where is his head?

Who cares.

His cat lived and ran away. Back to the story.

Nobody so much as blinked, only out of fear this time.

You may be wondering, where is Akamaru? Of course, you may not be wondering, but either way, I am going to tell you.

Akamaru was building a shuttle to the moon. Yes this genius was almost done, too.

"BARK!" he barked to his workmen- I mean dogs.

After about an hour (during which everyone back at Shino's house were silently standing without blinking) they finished.

They went to the moon. Gaara, Shino, Shikamaru, Kakashi, Rin, some Uchihas, a couple of rabid squirrels, and a random supermodel were there for some reason as well.

Nobody blinked when they dissapeared.

Tenten and Iruka died for no apparent reason, but nobody noticed because they are so insignificant.

Then the world exploded. They DID blink then.

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The end. Just give me some time to rewrite the others. Or something. I'll tell you guys now, the next chapter in TRB5 will be pancakey. And I might make this into an actual story. This is pretty good stuff...

jgc: Okaaay... it took like... two weeks to write that ending.

Kalilamae: Appreciate us, dammit!

jgc: Seriously. (sniggers at Lenore reference)

Kalilamae: That isn't funny.

jgc: I like poof. (sniggers at Lenore reference again)

Kalilamae: That isn't either.

jgc: (monotone) ... apocalypse. Everyone is dead. (sniggers, even though it isn't a reference joke)"

Kalilamae: HAHAHAHAHA!

jgc: Feh. I need to get that thing what came from my closet. That blur that is... MY CAT RUNNING IN TERROR FROM ME!

Kalilamae: And I have to go... clean my wrist or something. Bye.


End file.
